Greetings sports fans! And welcome to the round three report from the Northern Wastes Blood Bowl League. We last left you with a final round two match yet to be played and that saw the Lamprey Lightnin’ host the shambling forms of the Tomb Titans. With both teams having drawn their first game each were keen to lay down their championship credentials by claiming the win. It was the Lightnin’ who would make their case first by scoring an early brace of unanswered touchdowns and, despite a late surge of violence from the Titans that saw the Lightnin’ casualties rack up, it was the damage to the scoreline was more telling and the Lightnin’ held out to finish the game as 2-0 winners.
In a break from league play, the Ironbeards continued their winning ways in a 1-0 friendly victory against the Wolfenburg Wolves whilst the Sons of Roland’s on-field troubles continued with a 3-1 defeat to the Hambledown Hot Dogs; a game which also saw the demise of Son’s Thrower Wormtail. Round three proper began with a top of the table clash as the Ironbeards, sitting in first place with two wins under their bronze studded girdles, hosted the Iron Rock Greenskins in a gruelling encounter which featured numerous visits to the wrong end of both dugouts. For a match involving two of the most violent teams in the league, proceedings began in predictably brutal fashion. With the opening whistle still echoing around the stadium, Troll Slayer Kreler Coalfinger tackled Greenskins’ Blitzer Morgur Nogrcrakka into the home fans who duly beat him up and dumped him in the dead and injured corner of the Greenskins’ dugout. Kreler’s time on the pitch, however, was also to be short lived as he himself soon ended up being bundled off the pitch and the Ironbeards' fans who, having started early on a keg of“Dragon’s Blood” special edition Bugman’s XXXXXX, dished out another beating that left the Troll Slayer recuperating in the Ironbeards’ reserve box.
The violence in the stands soon spread to the pitch and after an attritional scum on the half way line, and with both teams at reduced numbers, it was the Greenskins’ who were able to gain the upper hand and score the only touchdown of the match through Blitzer Ogluk Irongob.
The second half was an equally belligerent affair with Greenskins’ Troll Bolgar Grugluk regenerating himself to narrowly avoid death at the hands of Troll Slayer Gutric Fullgrog and a second Greenskins' score was only averted by a brilliant touchdown saving play by Ironbeard captain Grimman Metalbuster who twice dodged clear of Orcs in order to take down the ball carrier. With the final whistle, however, it was the Greenskins who held onto their slender lead to take all three points.
The second match featured the Lamprey Lightnin’ hosting the Sons of Roland. Fresh from a solid victory against the Tomb Titans, another win would send the Lightnin’ to the top of the league whilst the Sons were looking for their first victory of the campaign. As with their previous match, the Lightnin’ quickly took charge of proceedings. With an offence working with metronomic precision, it was Catcher Olaf Panzermann who won the plaudits by crossing the end zone three times for a hat trick of touchdowns that took his personal tally for the league to four and currently puts him in prime position to win the Eldril Sidewinder’s Golden Gloves trophy. Despite the scoreline running away from them, however, it was on the line of scrimmage that the Sons stood toe to toe with the Lightnin’. And amidst the on-field carnage, the Sons’ captain Cluny the Scourge could be seen leading from the front. But Cluny would find that this was to be his final outing on the blood bowl field, or indeed any field. Having succumbed to one too many blocks, the remnants of the once proud captain was last seen being buried by the Lightnin’ groundsman in a shoe box behind the Gents’ privy.
But as we have seen all season with the Sons, you cannot keep a good rat down and when one talismanic rat departs the field forever, another steps into the breach. And in this match it was to be line-rat Skitterbolt who achieved legendary status by flooring Arnie Dumpkopff with a savage block which saw the injured Lightnin’ Ogre carried into the dugout and will now miss the next match. With the match ending in a 3-0 victory for the Lightnin’, the Sons’ fierce defence counted for naught and they remain winless whilst the Lightnin’ find themselves at the top of the league with their next match coming against fellow human team the Broekwater Buccaneers.
And so we arrive at the final game of the round where the aforementioned Broekwater Buccaneers hosted the Tomb Titans. With both teams eager to win their first game of the season the Buccaneers hoped to pass and run their way to victory whilst the Titans placed their faith in their well trodden path of, well, treading on the opposition and then shambling over the line for a decisive touchdown. With a front line bristling with four fearsome Tomb Guardians, and the unlikely league leading casualty inflictor Skeleton Skothed, it was the Tomb Titans’ game plan that asserted itself on the match. And so amidts an onslaught of blocks and fouls, the Titans were able to grind out a convincing 2-0 win thanks to touchdowns from Anointed Thrower Verte-Bray and newly hired Anointed Blitzer Tom-Ee-Coo-Pah. So with round three concluded the Northern Wastes League has a new leader in the form of the Lamprey Lightnin’ whose next game will see them play the bottom of the league Broekwater Buccaneers whilst the Tomb Titans will look to build momentum against the Ironbeards who will be looking to get back to winning ways and the Greenskins take on the battle scarred Sons!
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